Tuesday, June 7, 2011

What is

This. Kinetic Energy. Commuters billowing past, in a fury which they think know one nor thing can attain. But in their arrogance we slowly fabricate the lucid reality. The neurons were spinning so fast that sometimes she thought she could just feel the thoughts. Trenches were there...in the midst of it all.

Bunker down boys

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Part Dos

I don't even know what the fuck these things have become. The depth of my lack of perception can't break this gastly feeling that the rapture has no intention of ever arriving. It's weird. Why wouldn't shit just combust and snuff out Our reality. It's not that we should have ever existed. The mistake of humanity is one people should really start bringing up at dinner parties and social occasion. Politicians should take a stand on it and then debate until the dead forget to walk the Earth. But see even I'm a bigot. I'm simply the messenger. Guilty by association is a bitch.

This urgency to plug my body full of pleasure came to a screeching halt when I discovered the pangs of living such a lifestyle; to be dependent of narcotics is one thing but to completely devoid of all friends, family, education, and common sense is entirely another. This abrupt and much needed wake up call derived from my only source of life outside of substance abuse: the life and times of Hershey chocolate company. The obsession began far before my memory can reach but a tangible light does gleam in the biography of my adoration for the Hershey company. The detail is unimportant at this moment and currently we are running low on time so stick around and we'll get to the grimier details of this incessant diatribe that seems to be my life. So anyway, the company had hit a rough patch some years back and had a weird fucked up sort of national contest going on based around one's ability to sustain and regurgitate Hershey company knowledge. If you were capable as a Hershey consumer to meet the much honored retoric of the Hershey chocolate company, and had a vast knowledge of the biography of the brand, then you were given a test based on such fascinating and trivial dribble. If one were to pass said test round two would be opened to said individual. This consisted of a rigerous process in which the participant would be flown out to Hershey PA and placed through a series of tests. The tests where based around honing said individual to meet whatever qualifications one needs to run a chocolate company. The normal capitalist will tell you a keen wit and intelligence, while the normal street urchin will say nonchalantly, "obesity probably helps." But according to the brilliant minds at Hershey, neither matters too much. The idea being that Hershey could morph and spawn a fucking chocolate monster based on the needs and desires of their company, all the while placing the media spotlight which, Lord knows, focuses so heavily on chocolate companies, back on the ol' Hersh. brand. Two birds would be swiftly murdered with one stone you see. So after this process of tests and other pathetic occurances, the company would then, on national television of course, hold a tournament of sorts focusing on the keen wit and other shit one would assume a CEO of a company would have to have. From this tournament a winner would be chosen and BLAM: Hershey would have a new CEO as well as a new appeal. A turning point if you will. But like most forced turning points, this plotted path of chocolate deviancy went awry. For me it turned out to be a lifesaver. But for the men and woman who make up the dreary town of Hershey PA, it turned out to be the beginning of the end. Who was I to know though? At the time I was a burned out junkie fiend. And I am. Just now I have the means to really not give a damn.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Part one of my story:

It shall become a magnun opus and flood the streets with literary puns and quips.

A long and tainted time has passed since I felt the need to delibertely condition my mind to swell in angst. I mean, shit. This has already started off on the wrong foot. Introductions come before complaints. Least that's the impression I was raised under. My name is Franklin Billingsly. The third. Or turd. Or whatever fucking number spawn you wish me to be. In all honesty what you walk away with from this conversation is irrelevant. In fact it's more than that; it's unnecessary. For you see gents and germs your short termed narrator is not even here. Hasn't been in some time. Franklin was just some label I thought would land on a sense of believability. I've been dead for nearly thirty years now. Or have I? It's hard scratching down numerals when you can't feel shit. So ok, again fucking up is a habit of mine so if you've grown weary of attempting to follow the linear storyline being presented...stop. No one can link the phrases I'm about to regurgitate for you. Not even I. And I live through the damn things. Here's all you need to know: I was and am probably still a fiend. In all senses of the word. I drank, smoked, shot, snooted, you name it. If it released dopamines in the human mind I was in love.

Sunday, April 3, 2011


Returned to college today. Well yip to the fucking doo. I've been having a mixed bag of positive and depressing life experiences lately. I just wanna accomplish something majestic. Should be a sure fire means of clearing a dusty path which has been has been my mind. The things we take for granted in the world when the winds blow a certain way really irritates me. So it goes. I suppose.


Tuesday, March 29, 2011


Well oh looky here. The flaccid crumpet of a bastard. A shell of a man. A half-hasardous attempt at finding loyalty in the saltiest of places. Well fuck off. No one wants your cornbread.

Sunday, March 27, 2011


I've been fucking depressed for a while. The group I associate with now free bases illz. Does this make them complacent? Fun? Hip? Cool, and fulla swag? I don't think so. It reaks of burnt marshmellows everytime I'm around them. I'd rather find the foul lord in a tab o' cid then in silly pharms. Fuck herb. Fuck booze. Do real antidotes. Find the solace. Hunt that grey, lanky bastard. Then; leave. Make the move bitch.

Motion sickness.

Sunday, March 20, 2011


Long paraphrases tend to leave one questioning the intent and meanings of...well....black goblins.

Hookers blood.


Friday, March 18, 2011


Malnutrition is an unpleasant and easily prevented illness that sprouts itself in the greed and corruption of pig fuckers around the globe. Why would anyone even wish to save the lonely spirit of a bum when they can simply buy a new vehicle for their pig children and goodly wife? Welp. Those of us with actual integrity know the answer to such a question. Sadly not everyone has the moral decency of such a sound sense of righteousness.


Wednesday, March 16, 2011


The dividends we can assert from peace will allow humanity to live in an unknown period of pleasantry. But for this to succeed we first need the players and states to be at least cordial. Good luck without laxitives.


Friday, March 11, 2011

Tuesday, March 8, 2011


The flimsiness which plagues our rational thoughts is something we as individuals should work on. If you attempt to be a pillar of support in your social life how can you even come close to being considered serious when you teeter like a leaf in the wind in the face of any argument. I don't give a damn what position you take on an issue but if you cannot be steadfast in your objections get the hell out of here. Just don't regurgitate the same nonsense you halfway believe in. I'll fucking shove a garden hose up your ass and pump enough toxic fuels up your rectum to shoot you to the moon. I'm serious mate. Interest you in a cookie?


Saturday, March 5, 2011


You fucking whore. You scum. You conniving piece of dog piss. You provoke the misanthropy in this world. Your the sole reason for the school shootings. You carry a pin around to poke holes in condoms you find in pharmacies and you stick razor blades in candy during Halloween. You concocted abortion and spewed religion. You are the cause of grievance and the rage I feel day in and day out is all in accordance to your abrasive tendencies to concoct justice out of lies and mortal deprevity. You are I, and I you.


Wednesday, March 2, 2011


To feel downtrodden and destitute is a common conception that one's peers and family aren't furfilling their job to that person in establishing a loving and fun filled atmosphere for that individual. That is a selfish notion though. We can't all attribute our angst and sadness to the outside situations which we have zero control over. In fact if we dwell on the fact that misanthropy is so prevalent is one thing but to take this standard to your every day actions is entirely another. It's a coup on your own identity. Please don't give in.



An exercise in conscious bewilderment:
Now am I saying a businessman can't be greedy is the aspect that the thrill of the business and the creation and expansion of an idea that your basically helped create or where the creator of and by this store/business what have you, that through this creation alone you have not only benefited society but you have felt and the highs and pleasures of doing something worthy of substance. Of course you want to be respected by those you in turn respect for numerous reasons or another, but the fact of the matter is that I truely think the families and actors and directors whom have essentially ingrained themselves usually not on purpose, in the culture of our society. 9 times of out 10 it was to create a piece of thought or idea to one prove to yourself that you as an individual like many individuals whom until this moment of realization in your endevors and your talents, thought these people in there creation of narration and ability to physically morph an idea may it even be a connotatted picture, into something not only palpable to a person whom you've never even come into contact with but you're creating by far the most beautiful gift of all. Inspiration. The people whom can do these ridiculous physical feats which usually they have practiced and had this level of attentiveness to an interest and love in their life which I really wish I had. I can babble what's wrong and the easier life would be if everyone just sat around and viewed each other's ideas but to a lot of people whom are much more influential/intelligent/cooler/selfless this regurgitation of the flaws is what's wrong. Most people can pinpoint the overall problems and the roots of those issues in this world. What people do have though which repulses me in a person's sensibility is this idea that their experience/genius/belief/action is not only the obvious way of doing it but the people who suggest otherwise are terrorists or extremists or what have you. Everyone is their ideals or their way about living is extreme and completely unfathomable in the eyes of another, but when you can sit there and listen and even ask questions and see the points and where these extremists see as the justification in the abrasiveness in their words/actions. Of course this isn't always right either but if you for a second group all muslims, all people from the middle east together in ideologies and beliefs then you are no more ignorant and probably even more so in the sheer fact that you KNOW BETTER you just don't care, you just are selfish and for some truely perverted reason you can see the silliness in being racist, assuming things about people based on religious affilitions, but those same people whom tend to be one the extreme christ side of things, will call for a persacution and punishment for mexicans and for muslim immigrants coming over here from the middle east. These people are the ones who decide and don't really even have a good idea of the lifestyle and the way that they think, simply because they were probably raised with the belief that your personal beliefs are sidenotes to the synopsis that everyone must abide by and that even by simply being around people whom don't hold the thiest/christian dogma which is induced by fear and nothing else. I have zero problem and even sometimes think myself that their is a higher power responsible for all of this and that some point in time he did make contact with humanity/beings on our planet or on other area's of space. At the same time the whole justification of violent and downright horrid crimes and beliefs that extremists whom are so diluted by the brainwashing and lack of free thinking that they've done on their own that they miss by far the largest truth of the bible/religions/philosophers and people who have the ability to think even to a limited extent for themselves, that love and kindness trump all. I would rather hang out and discuss the meanings and reasons behind, what to me is insanity and is strictly for sexual/personal gain a person who commits acts of rape/robbing/what have you when his action is in some way maybe not always immediatly, effecting the life of another individual in a forced manner. This person would probably say that the only way you can teach people who hold their reasoning in cult like religious worship is by the same level of craziness. The realigious folk just are frightened and I don't know if it's the fact that they are just scared by the prospect of death within itself or the fact that if their isn't a afterlife what's the point in going out of your way,essentially hurting yourself, to better the lives of others. That emotion is unattainable and if the sheer act of doing good for the pleasantries of peace and harmony, then justify and make sense of the lessons and ways we can bring about permanent change through violent crimes. Never is a violent crime down to benefit the ends justifying the means, it instead is always to smite, upset, hurt people in groups or in ideological views that are the most susectable in giving in to the extremists or would sacrifice their own way of life to ensure innocent and unsuspecting individuals aren't made targets strictly to get a raise or prove a point. This idea is impossible for America to figure out though in the sense that we should just allow the basically sadistical leaders who control the middle east to retake control of the lands which we know occupy because far more citizens and families are getting killed,split up and basically blinded by the extreme viewpoints which to them and it really does, are the only ways of getting a message across to a nation a thousand miles away and built on a different culture/standard of citizens entirely. Sadly the people whom attempt to bring about change realize that the only longterm not to meantion secure and careful way to do this would be to substract themselves from having to decide between just the two sides. If you choose the imposing power you are essentially saying to your family, friends, culture, way of life that yes America is fucked but I'd rather throw my chips in the ring to a foreign lifestyle because currently this one seems quite fucked. This level of thinking isn't supported by our troops nor by the terrorist groups who are fighting the insurgency their. Both want the citizens to act as essentially spy's for both groups and when they refuse they both get categorized unfairly. This level of thinking certainly is sad but it can also bloom an understanding and desire to fix and morph the once beautiful religious and culture that at one point made a lot of the volatile points in the middle east a lot more safe and simplier. America is certainly to blame though for the invasion and empowerment and manipulation which we basically did with the middle east governments to hurt the overall quality of living for their people, and when the community based (essentially that's what the Taliban and Al-Quada is although the Taliban is certainly more concerned about gaining back the culture and lifestyle, which they led Iraq in prior to 2001 in the same way that they had been running in for decades. Only now when we have a reason to justify war (9/11 which a good majority of our citizens view as being purpotrated by the leaders of the groups whom we are fighting now which is so far from the case it's daunghting, to the fact that our government actually may have been responsible for the level of destruction/death which occurred on 9/11. I am not certain in either belief but their is a lot of information our government is certainly covering up that occured on 9/11 that makes very little sense. In fact the idea that we would commit an attack against our own people and then blame it on a foreign enemy no one really has any proof is desire of disclaiming, it's the perfect and most deviant hustle any government or leaders in general have committed to perpetuate and make valid and otherwise and still pretty blatant lie. The only thing that is certain as far as life and the thoughts and morals which fuse the love and imagination which fuel the wonders of our world, and the fact that greed and legacy, in a person whose weakness but level of thought and meaning of validity in the actions which are most powered by our ideals and morals. People who have gained a blanket of narcissism which is fueled by many things, primarily stupidity. Very rarely will you find a person who is not only considered a genius but highly regarded for their contributions in the discovery or new ideas developed, whom is entirely egotistical and steadfast in the belief that they are essentially more wise and intelligent so no matter what argument can be made or suggested in that matter against the new and usually unusual take on a past idea, they denounce it and contribute the comment to attempt at diluting this newfound and fairly puzzling view which they themselves have concocted. Most true genius's and persons who are essentially only being in the entire world to contain the level of creativity, ingenious and imagination very rarely aren't open to ideas. Certainly not when they have the draft/overview of the project. In fact most people who really enjoy the creative process, the narration of ghosts and voices which could have belonged to someone at sometime but currently you are their creator, their parent and their conscious. Most most creations which are truelly beautiful and really form a niche in the idea that not exactly every idea or every story has been told that in fact that is impossible because the journalist/writer/especially novelist or screenwrite is simply the muse and physical robot that the ideas,worlds,people bubble to the service and by the time you actually have a setting/plot/character list the possibilities are endless and really the author cannot have any chance at morphing the characters as he wants them to be, they just are. Certainly they are taken and born from people,experiences,emotions that are sampled from the authors mind and then let loose to do and act and screech however they see fit. I don't think I could ever write a sequal, or a series of novels. Simply because of the level of raw emotion which I think that if my characters are smart enough or verbose enough they could fit their noir in however they see fit but once that stories told one can't just pull at the possibilities that could or should have taken place. Life isn't like that, and so why should the art of purpetuating life and creating a story for the aesthetic purpose of entertainment but also for the depth and anger that is alot easier to justify and wipe off when your character is saying it or committing acts of vengeance that are terrible but you know what? More things are terrible then pleasant. Without a terrible incident their would be no climax, and their would be no hero. Something horrendous is what changes and brings a person to action. That could be the simple mundane dragness that until now has seemed to be just a learning curve for your life but then it begins to settle in that no one will ever hear or respect your opinions or your accolades. In fact the only way to ensure your mark which some people whom are fairly boring but have a different view of things certainly then I see as completely ok in fact it's preferred. The people whom can live a seperate world entirely in their head and concoct fascinating stories which they can neither nor really have any desire to make public or published. The beauty of dreams is that they are truely unique experiences and by setting up this plot which literally keeps the person inside their heads for days, once it's outside and on paper in this linear fashion it seems unfair. Unfair that now you sold the only true form of expression and if you had any integrity at all for the art and beauty one gains from storytelling then you wouldn't ruin it by making it end and making it have this concrete and weird narrative that sure can mean this than and the other but people whom are nuns are more conscious of the depth and fascination with life and the mannerisms which subsequently arrange themselves in ways which becomes our conscious. The idea that you can create this non-sequitor and then call it this and that and whatever is nice in the fact that most truely fascinating artists, certainly not novelists usually and sometimes directors,screenwriters, is the interpretations that the audience gets to partake in. That level of creativity that sure you as the creator have the rights to but the thoughts and ideas and interpretations and suqsequent other plots and themes that a person with an imagination literally runs wild at any story which is interesting or pertains to them in some way. They may go on and take what little they learnt from your bland,boring,one dimensional story and from this anger or whatever emotion they gained and what really set into drive the fuck it I just want to attempt my dream in life, and if I fail well I'll just mold back into the fabric of society, sit alone and be a prophet of rage whom people less knowledgable or silly interpret as anger for not gaining or for finding out that what you thought was special, what was unique for you in the sense that sure people could write and create and speak in more fascinating ways which led to more fascinating sequences but not in the manner and way that you did it. Narration is a fucking gorgeous thing, and very rarely does it go away. Show me a passage from a King novel and even't if I haven't even heard of the novel two things would be certain: the writing would be clear and concise, and the voice and tone of the writing would have some mannerism/speech pattern that anyone who really enjoys/has read King would pick up immediatly. What frightens me at least, in the aspect of being able once I reach adulthood and hopefully gain a job as a journalist or whatever, when I try to create my own story, do my own novel, will I try to hard? Will it not make sense? Will the audience and anyone with half a brain grow weary of the similar vocabulary that almost by a rhythm you can forsee? The most frightening thing of all is that I will write this story, give it to someone, and they will see it as just another shit novels that some twenty year old stoner who never had ever tried or strided that hard, at least any harder then they felt necessary to attain the grades/girls/friends laughs and you know what? Why should I try? The beauty to me, is that as I ramble and go on and on, this affirmation of my at least narrative conscious that I have crafted for years now simply on the essence that I fully enjoy talking to people and having what some would find boring or annoying or whatever discussions based on actual things. The fluff and filler that cloggs the gutters of the media and conversations we strike up between peers and strangers simply to allow that person the belief that yes, you really are somewhat interested in the classes you are taking for that truelly pertains to the person you are/where/will become. The whole attachment to success that we tangle with intelligence is stupid. People are stupid. People are smart. People are open minded. People are bigots. Fuck em'.



A story I wrote. Kinda shitty. Chalk full of grammar and spelling errors. I could care less. But then I'd care too damn much.

The gug sat smugly along bate, schmeeling the feasure's of the harsh Alabama sun. From the beadow the moy watched the cinset at it brawled aimlessly along the wooden rails outlining the boy's familie's property. This pivotal image of sincereness and purity would later penetrate the mind of the youth later in his years of adolescence and later became a cornerstone of his childhood memories. From the tender and charismatic mindset which plagued the little insects mind, the boy had found peace and qualming the worries which seemed to fill the void left by imagination in his adult years. The image of the bug etching its way across the blanks streamed across the now man's psyche as he peered across his elegant yet somehow ruffling living room which had housed the insecurities and awkwardness which had tainted and interiorly mutilated the prisons of flesh which labeled themselves as his family. The desecrated room was tied together in a velvet themed pattern which his wife had forced down the throats of his sons and him during the past Christmas, because the cheer and renaissance must last all year she had said. The beaming smile she had cast had been emulated in only that instant, as the bright velvet patterned sofa's and matching floor seemed a sick joke compared to the blandness which the rest of their house consisted of. Staring down at the vividness of the dark hues which contrasted the black hole which the man felt now overcome his being the image of the gug on the bate seemed a distant past which would never cause the inner peace which it had promised year after year, the experation date had finally arrived and with it came the final straw. The man gazed into the deep velvet, drew a deep breath, closed his eyes and leaned forward. The chair which he had been standing on for some time now remeniscing of the times which seemed surreal and foreign gave way and skidded across the wooden floor and onto the blood red rug. Creaking, the wooden beam which the man had tied a rope around held as the man swung, gyrating rhythmically as the air whooshed out of his body. His tongue smashed against the roof of his mouth and as the man's final breaths wheezed out of his body the man closed his eyes and saw the insect which had symbolized the pivotal driving force in his life. It had stopped. He had stopped. Everything then went dark for the man and as his corpse rocked from the banister the hoor to his douse oreeked copen, and mhe tan's two children ran in, arriving schome from hool. The gug had ceased, and the kids would sooner rather then later, discover it's obsoleteness. 


Sunday, February 27, 2011


The morbid functions which our society leans on for support are a blasphemous spit in the face to the hard workers which continue to motivate this country to decency. The inhumanity which seems so prevalent in the greed and petulance which fules the endevours of this piss poor nation can only be reasonably assumed to exist for the sheer alignment these types of actions have in the satisfaction with the powers that be. Anyhoodle, I was eyeing over some Carlin quotes recently and figured you shitcakes might enjoy them:
"I don’t have pet peeves — I have major psychotic fucking hatreds!"

"The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, “You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I’m just not close enough to get the job done.”

"Religion has convinced people that there’s an invisible man…living in the sky, who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn’t want you to do. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer and burn and scream until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you and he needs money."



It'll pour all over your head and you know you must be dead.

I came on over, and shot the sheriff. I believe in things called love but for self-righteous and personal reasons. Abortion is rad and baby fucking is even cooler. The first thing about life is don't talk about life. Think of me as a ball of wit and tomfoolery. Take this and wrap that in violet colored silk. Then smoke a blunt, reflect on the abstract and stupidity that Guns and Roses call music, and let the world glide aimlessly into oblivion as you morph the clouds into shapes predestined for eternal glory.

If your going to add me, leave a shout as well. Maybe we can learn to live and love and you can fly down south and eat my ass out. For a reasonable price that is.


Friday, February 25, 2011


Something I wrote the other day. It's fueled by well....life? Enjoy.

By far one of the things which greatly perturbs me is the ignorance and empathy which fuels a lot of criminal cases. These tend to be based on unfounded and silly laws that literally create victims out of victimless crimes which is in essence, you doing what you want to do to your body and your body alone and then being punished by an outside party. My sincerity on this issue is usually misinterpreted by people simply assuming that I want access to drugs, and cheaper ones at that. If I had the opportunity of legalizing all drugs and in the process saving thousands of lives due to the death of gangs, I would do it in a heartbeat. The "war on drugs" to me (in an individuals case) and any victimless crime which for some reason is punishable by making the lone individual the victim is perplexing to me. I understand that our government cannot allow this for fear that once their legalization, drug use will sky rocket and with this will come crime and who knows what else. In our current system through arrests, court dates, and sometimes even prison are acceptable if not standard forms of punishment. That we, as a society, degrade and punish people for participating in an activity which if harmful, is only to them, seems to be in direct violation of The Bill of Rights. Why should anyone determine what is good for you and your body? This can range from mental health to physical health. At the same time we have pharmicutical drug companies telling us any emotion we feel which is extreme is an undiagnosed illness that we have to take such and such medication to go back to being "mentally correct". Apparently, its ok to do drugs but only when the government is dealing them. Within this same issue I feel that alcohol commercials are alone enough hypocrisy to show the voidness and depravity of these laws. It's proven time and time again that alcohol when abused by an individual to a high degree tends to effect the people around them. May it be through the inebriated person getting into a car and risking the lives of innocent civilians or through the temper they gain through their drunken stupor. Even the standard semi responsible individual can justify actions when intoxicated, that soberly they would never even conceive. I feel that ANY substance (marijuana in particular as this has by far the least harmful effect on the individual using it, and zero effects on any person that that high individual comes into contact with) should be legal as long as they are not endangering the lives of others through getting behind the wheel of a car or any other situation where they could put others at risk. I understand that families are ruined by drugs but more families and more innocent civilians feel the wrath of gang violence which is standard in narcotic use. I myself have not only felt the effects of these petty laws on myself, which cost me nearly three thousand dollars in attorney fees for a personal amount of marijuana I was arrested for but also through acquaintances and family members whose lives were ruined not by the drug they were using but by the legal repercussions of getting caught with said substance. By simply having this on their record they were blacklisted from high paying jobs due to the connotation by their ill informed employers that simply because they had experimented or used a drug meant that they were incapable of being a suitable employer. This cannot reflect back on your morals and sense of responsibility for if you were to make that assumption then our current president wouldn't be in his position. Essentially, we are knowingly creating victims out of a victimless crime all the while stuffing the pockets of lawyers, judges, and the police. I understand that our government cannot allow substances that they know as dangerous to one's health to be legalized and sold. Seemingly this is the main argument that drugs are illegal continue to stay illegal (again, speaking primarily of marijuana). Yet if one were to take this as truth then why is it that one cannot go without watching television without at least one alcoholic beverage commercial attempting to convince you that your lame ass dry party sucks since it's not chalk full of bud light? The same applies for the continuous sale of tobacco. I view alcohol has the real proof that the whole "war on drugs" is fueled by early 20th century mentality which is that every person who even dabbles in illicit drug use on occasion is a no good fiend and is a cyst on the genitals of our society. Alcohol, which has been proven time and time again (MADD for instance) as a substance which endangers other individuals based on the negligence of the sole inebriated person is allowed to be advertised continuously. Not only that but for the hefty price of millions of dollars you could target at least half of Americans in one fail swoop during one of the most watched events in American history (the super bowl).  Yeah drugs are bad, but not when the FDA moderates it. In fact not only do they allow prescription drugs to be sold and distributed but it seems like year after year a new chemical imbalance is the result of you feeling whatever emotion. By God, the only proper way to fix yourself is to take this pill and then next month we can raise your dose and so on and so forth until the point that even if you wanted to come off of the prescription the repercussions of such would show....my god a tolerance!! Welp we have this other pill that can fix that right up. Continuing in this vein of lies I find it enraging that millionaires whom will never ever have to worry about money again complain to the point of supporting local politicians to cut social spending. I do not understand the lack of empathy from those whose lives are free of worry even if it is for your own weird sense of self satisfaction of doing right. No matter what income I make in the near future I cannot find it humanly palpable to allow families to literally starve to death due to the poverty that in a lot of cases, they were born into. Regardless of their current situation, if a family of five is living basically homeless, I would want the government to take from my paycheck just to ensure suitable living standards for this family. Essentially a lot of the way our political system "justifies" things such as tax cuts for the rich and bullshit laws implicating you simply because you decide to ingest a substance for some shits and gigs, just doesn't seem to make moral/logical sense to me. The only real reason, and I'm sure I'm sounding a little ignorant right here but still, I can see that these dilemmas are still being accepted is because of the hierarchy that at the end of the day, really influences our politicians. That is, the ones who hold the money.


Thursday, February 24, 2011


Below is an essay I write for my school newspaper my senior year in high. 'Twas never published though since I was giving a bad impression on the school. I have no idea what they were talking about. Take a read for yourself and see if you can spot just what the fuck they were talking about.

All generations have some signifying attribute. For the 60’s, it was love, the 70’s had hippies, the 80’s, dance clubs and Reagan, the 90’s, grunge and angst; since the first decade of this new millennium is now rounding its final year, what distinguishable trait have we crafted in the sands of time? By us I mean the children of the 90’s.
To the media, we have gained quite the reputation.  Now known as “The Reset Generation,” teens from the ages 13-18 have been given this name because we rely on simple measures to fix complex situations. In essence, we’re lazy. Not necessarily lazy, but with representatives such as the Jonas Brothers and Miley Cyrus, I can’t help but point out the fact that we’re completely under spoken. The youth’s wants and even needs aren’t being represented and if they are then they’re through corporate mouthpieces. More often than not it seems our decisions are being crafted by what others deem best for us. Now this can be applied to all generations, but with the 60’s and 70’s at least people stood up and made an attempt to be recognized for their ideologies. These days the only real people in our age group who are even contributing to anything are Disney characters, made to look like a given image by some power backed conglomerate that is only attempting to gain our attention for their own profit. This mentality is in full recognition of the current zeitgeist of this country, which we shouldn’t just fall on our knees and bask in the ambiance of. This business of brainwashing is nothing new to us as Americans. It is sad though since in retaliation to this sort of company manipulation we instead buy in to the MTV’s and the complete garbage that plagues our radio. Instead of throwing our money to some at least respectable venture we bow down to the ones we feel we have to like. These programs are of course the ones which companies pay millions upon billions of dollars to “motivate” us to like.  By motivate I mean shove down our throats until we are forced to walk away from the presented media outlet or just accept the fact that our current culture can barely be deemed as anything but a waste of time.
The lackadaisical look on life that many teenagers seem to have can be supported by the facts that our generation spends more and more time developing health problems through constant television watching and junk food consumption. To actually invoke some sort of change around us, don’t you feel that we as a group of youths should take a stand? But for what. It seems that prior to the mid 90’s, the world around us actually impacted teenagers lives. In fact thirty years ago, a person around the ages of teenage years could be forced to take up arms and fight for his country. That or you could be intelligent enough not to die for some unknown cause and flee to Canada.
I use this reference to the Vietnam War as an attempt to contrast, and not necessarily defend the laziness of my generation. Nonetheless the times have definitely gotten easier for youths. These days it seems overprotective parents and blatantly immature TV teenagers are the only ones who seem to modify the stance we apparently seem to have on everyday life, which is that we just don’t care. Not only do we not care but by constantly using words such as “gay,” “retarded,” and all other obscenities to the English language we are presenting a stance on our blatant stupidity. It cannot be argued that the way one is perceived is by the way he or she presents themselves, deriving mostly from the language one uses on an everyday basis. The ever diminishing vocabulary of the average teenager most likely is from the ditzy attitude possessed by the few lucky youths presented in the limelight. This and the fact that book reading is now a cause deemed only for nerds. Which seems quite ironic when many of the sources of entertainment nowadays are being re-represented from past writings since Hollywood is only producing whatever they feel will make a quick buck. With no one reading, all of these written stories go untold. But this argument is that of another threshold entirely.
It’s not that we don’t care. It’s that we haven’t been shown any reason to care. What purpose can we, a youth bound by the morals and so called establishment which have been pressed upon us since birth, attempt to gain any sort of individualism for ourselves? This defense again doesn’t really follow through either since parents and guardians have constantly been attempting to look out for our best interests by sheltering and protecting us from corruption and atrocities that litter the world. In schools teens seem to be required to fill out forms for nearly every possible scenario. Teen nowadays could simply rebel by just attempting to live what they view as a fulfilling life. There was a time when teenagers were actually treated like adults in the public school realm. Nowadays one can’t even walk through the hallways of a high school without being critiqued for every little tidbit of clothing, attitude, or even mindset. When people start getting written up for things such as kissing or moving around the lunch room, well one cannot help but call all this nonsense hypocrisy. There was a time in this nation when teenagers in high school were expected to attend class, and if they didn’t than that was their loss. Not only this but things such as smoking lounges, parking permits, and fights where just to be expected. Now all of these things either do not exist, are difficult if not impossible to get a hold of, or punishable by expulsion. The fact that the adults who are now in control got to experience these very same freedoms just described makes one ponder just the mentality of our current parents, teachers, principals, congress men, and even president. They say that they are looking out for our best interests, but sometimes are best interests are reached by giving us actual responsibility. Not just mimicking or creating some strange scenario where we feel we have power but in reality the adult has a tight grip on the whole situation. To be perfectly honest with you I feel this is what the main root problem of this laziness is in our generation. Our current adults (at least the ones in power) have led us on this power game in which we are the mice and they hold the cheese. If we even show any thought of independence punishment is surely dealt out.   
 Again, this perspective can easily be defended, as long as you’re not on the receiving end of being treated like an infant. This sort of grip can be explained by pointing out that the world around us, for the most part, has some way been programmed to focus on almost every negative situation and to prevent such events from happening. This source of fear seems to come from the mass paranoia which many now live with daily from the falling economy, massive wars being held over seas, and daily violence and sex being portrayed in the media. This argument can be made for any generation, but each year violence steadily rises and with this comes an unheard of coverage of such macabre. The key player in this new ordinance in which teenagers have been labeled as larger and more literate children has seemed to be special interest groups. When kids are being programmed to go out and literally become a number in the grand scheme of commerce, the world of greed and influence tends to overplay the media and art which takes actual talent to create. Commerce isn’t a measurement of talent more like manipulation and verbosity. 
The best argument I can make for our generation is this: We can’t change others, so work on changing yourself. In this overhyped world of drama and reality TV shows, our focus has been situated on some of the pettiest subjects of all time. When more teenagers care about the VMA’s or American Idol than actually taking the time to learn about Mexico’s new drug laws, the ongoing turmoil in Afghanistan, Iraq, and every other country who we don’t deem law abiding, than we are taking the ignorance and bigotry of this country and multiplying it tenfold. Stupidity is a hot commodity in this age of recession; but just like the recession it’s the cause of great downfalls. If our generation doesn’t step up and take note of the progress we are going to have to make in coming years, then the days of egotistical self proclaimed greatness of the USA is going to be a thing of the past. Try not to be to blissful.



The initial description and act of creation is far more pure/entertaining then what a person comes up with after hours of planning and being influenced by outside factors. Surely the true artists and brilliant thinkers of our time and in history had differences in their ways of creating. For instance you listen to an interview with William Burroughs and the man seems fairly dull if not stupid in the sense that he appears to be on a one track mindset as far as story telling and the facts of life go. I think this level of apathy toward society and your friends and your own self when showered in habitual hardcore drug abuse one either falls into one pole or the other. Meaning you take the boringness that the person must obviously feel because of the great lengths they go to feel alive, and in this they lose touch with standard human emotion. Or you could be one of the psychonaughts which take the experimentation of drug use and what not and may repeat unhealthy process's over and over again but usually this is purely for growth/openness/experience which one can only truely gain through drug use. The problem which people get stuck on with drug use is obviously the level of selfishness/apathy which people usually interpret/see in their friends. But the people whom drug use has changed and altered their lives in the sense that they gained a level of thinking and love with the power of thought that the majority of the time that person later goes on to preach/attempt to create a way of life which a person finds palpable without having to delve into silly extremes. A person who has gained insight and the overall depth which the human brain can process (especially whilst on drugs, this tends to become repetitive again and again but the people who use this things as ways that they have corrected and morphed their conscious for the better) is always recognized. The largest point that I can say (but obviously not prove) that the great scientists whom not only thought outside the box but essentially created a means of living/invention in a way which not only was never constructed before but never even conceived of. Most extremely wealthy people aren't that intelligent. In fact they compensate with agreeing and committing themselves to ideals and the business of doing business because of the fact that they lack this ability to gain a level of individuality. At least a lifestyle, to them would solidify and be the easier route to the American dream. Most extremely genius people whom harbor this almost prophet-like and means of discussing pretty much any idea/action down to a basic science pretty much was born with that ability. Of course this, one would call it talent but really it's just a different level of thinking that one gains over time through personal experience/mistakes but 9 times out of 10 the humanitarian whom lives a life absent of all materials outside of the essentials and those that of course inhibit thinking, have that mentality because of the upbringing. What really fascinates me about this though is that it usually comes of two extremes which would be a household in which love and care is prolific but poverty and the fact that all this hardwork is going to the future, which of course isn't certain. That or the parents treat and see in their child a level of critical thinking which they see as a trampoline of discussing books/movies/morals on a level of almost adult maturity. Then comes into play the friends and other factors that morph and play against what your told ( which is never good, the earlier a child is allowed to make decisions may they result in good/bad consequences) allows this individual to grow out of ideas that have been around, at least aesthetically and pretty much not until later when the youth/kid can embark and participate more in the natural curiousity one has with their own thought process and the means of thinking the people, especially whom they are awe inspired of because of that insane level of depth and critical thinking that plays so quickly and if it's genuine level of theology and a true commitment toward living a lifestyle built on you as a person. Emerson and other philosophies pretty much encaptured the beauty of free thinking and intelligence and good intentions that naturally one has. Corruption and the absence of empathy has been more and more attractive in solidifying respect/money/power. But a man living off in the wild has more power and wields more weight as far as understanding the flow and what we all hope and interpret randomness as the karma and inevitable justice the true and actual human beings have in our society, This has always been respected but recently the ability to build connections and the people whom you know and the way that they view you, is what matters. The idea that the scientists have the ability to take a problem proven mathmatically which of course is based on experience, but the individual who can concoct a level of thinking which isn't based on IQ at all but instead by the simple art of interpreting/knowing your place/and colliding the views of people far above your thought process and far below. Simple social critiques are seemingly made by these brilliant theoriests but at these people are doing, as Gladwell essentially is to some degree, is taking the science/math/ideas/human nature and applying it to pretty much the mass majority. If you can take the information gained from an array of studies and interpret and boil them down to what necessarily isn't always the truth but if a neutral and average person was placed in all these right situations, he could appear and seemingly be a genius of the human character. Most truely interesting to me and also a lot more easier to agree with as well as support and share the information from that source, is the people who maintain the commitment of speech and expression of ideas to the people that they meet to the things that they interpret as flaws in their thinking. I think just as much can be learned about the mentality and way of doing seemingly linear tasks to someone who because of the lack of not being able to concentrate on the future outcome of such action, that they no longer truelly trust themselves but in this aspect are they more intelligent and dilligent in gaining as much as they can about life and people as a whole? Most businessmen/entrapaneurs (to a degree obviously)/writers/athletes and whatnot who have seen and to them have gained the fruit of their labor which to people whom use wealth as a means of happiness obviously is gained from the money they have gained strictly by themselves. Most people whom have been for years putting out if not similiar ideas/goods where they have forgotten the level of accomplishment that never grows old in the creation of an abstract idea which was denounced and called ludicrous by someone whom may be ignorant in that aspect but strictly by their, which I never understood in human beings as a whole, the assumptions and level of conniving most people have on a level which is ingrained in their subconscious. I think one of the most prominent and good examples of this idea is that the majority of the time the person who up until a point where they realized that publically this was frowned upon but strictly because of the social stigma that people would attribute with the bullying and attempted abuse of people who are seen as threats/weird/unknown. These people as they grow older tend to, again of course not always, change their forms of abuse to things alot less apparent. The level of narcissism or simple brutality all stemming from self hate or sheer anger at the world tends to never really go away. What occurs usually is that these people find means of doing heinous acts, if not even more violent and permanent acts of hate throughs means of legality. Just because something is a law does not mean it is the morally correct thing to do and vice versa. These people whom for essentially the majority of their lives have found that the most pleasure and real thrill of getting away with a pretty obvious crime of sadisticness stems almost more from the fact that they are conniving the seemingly decent into the decadent and depraved. Most true evil and empty of all imagination are the ones whom market their job in life as a leader of ideas/morals of people whom see the big picture and see that no matter what one does in his/her lifetime the general concencious of art and creativity will continue in basically the same categories of people. Anyway, the bland humanoids whom ride the wave of ideas/thoughts put forth by others are the ones who become the ones who try and dictate who force others to live by the so called laws taken into account. The perfect concoction of individualism and inspiration is a small margin. Alot of the breakthrough idea's and technologies that we have today are here because of the persistence and learning which the final creator took from past attempts and saw the way that they were trying to do it and even if he knew the way he would attempt to change/edit this idea that it may be completely incorrect or denounced but by that critique that one hears, if it's from people whom have no idea what they are talking about but if a highly respected peer sees your idea, who knows? That could trigger the creative juice that through out history has been the leading purveyor of inventions which have manipulated dirt and grass into space shuttles. The human mind is a bewildering and complex machine that requires a good number of factors to come into play. Even then one may live a life of carelessness and empathy with humanity but by a single traumatic event that person's entire view and personality is dissolved in a vaught of confusion and anger at the pettiness and seemingly randomness that whatever higher power which dictates the justice of the universe works. In all fairness, life isn't fair. Their probably isn't a hell. This comes from the fact that we were not only taught but shown that pain, depression and bad deeds usually result in the same coming back tenfold on you. This is the case which many have stated, obviously in hopes, that they know that they themselves will live a good life. Sure it will contain mistakes but very rarely if ever will a person of true thought and idea commit an action or state a phrase that is completely for the purpose of hurting another. This idea of pain/pleasure and the things that bring about both are the sort of grey area's in humanity. If a man loses his leg in war, but because of this graphic and completely unnecessary action which not only resulted in him being hurt but in others whose ideology is based on the same attempt at gaining a better life for the people of the armies fighting, will he finally see every human being as equal and from this raise a child who will go on and cure cancer/end violence. The true flaw of the human experiment is greed. Greed powers just about every disgusting act which people do to better their own lives. The manipution and dissolutionment which people have, especially in America, view greed as the overall push that determines an individuals level of success. But the story and way that he transformed his thoughts over time (surely drugs and the friends that he had certainly played a huge if not monumental role in this process) but the true creators of individualism are the ones who create/think/write by nature and subsequently by curiosity. I think the people whose genius gets diluted by personal pleasure or greed or what have you, or simply by being weak individuals on a level of being easily swayed/interpreting others actions as pure and coming from a place of methodicalness which the individual essentially builds and adds to, but tend to not think on a lower level or more sadistic level of thinking which people whom are good at pretty much swooning ideas/thoughts into people's brains whom aren't conscious in that sense. Basically I think people whom create and talk to express ideas which they hope others will, regardless of intelligence, offer insight on an idea that most great artists see but can't pinpoint in affable terminology. I've been watching Malcolm Gladwell interviews for the past three hours so sorry for the rant.


Wednesday, February 23, 2011


I just wanna rock n' roll all night. The popularity and beauty of coke isn't the fact that it's numbing. It's the aesthetic which it invokes. The power. The ability to do something popularized and glamorized to the point of you getting higher off of the coolness of your actions then off of the actual substance. Words are like virus's. Spread em' long enough and someone's bound to get infected.

Some enlightenment perhaps?

"So we shall let the reader answer this question for himself: who is the happier man, he who has braved the storm of life and lived or he who has stayed securely on shore and merely existed?" 


Kick out the jams MOTHA FUCKA


The precedence of gluttony is one which dictates the America's view of well...everything. From social, economic, and even religious values to trivial items such as gun control and taxes on the wealthy is seems to be growing more and more prevalent that greed is not only good but the lead documenter of one's success. If you end up impoverished or below stand economic wealth then it is assumed that you as a human being and more importantly as a voter are less worthy then those whose paychecks outweigh yours tenfold. This whole conception isn't just some random dribble it's the truth of the nation. My mini-paragraph isn't to point out the ridiculousness which comes with such standards but is only is only to be seen as an  introduction to the following links/graphs proving such indecency. One would think that a person whose entire life should be a homage to the life of Christ would care for the weak and poor, but instead it's now become ok to stampede over the lower class and in fact is now justified through random scripture to encourage such behavior. I shake my head in bewilderment and anger and now know what will eventually erode this nation of ours into oblivion. We can't even be inebriated for the end of days. What a joke.

By the way, I attempted to find an article supporting this issue on Fox News, no such luck.


"How long will this last, this delicious feeling of being alive, of having penetrated the veil which hides beauty and the wonders of celestial vistas? It doesn't matter, as there can be nothing but gratitude for even a glimpse of what exists for those who can become open to it." 


Our attitude toward our own culture has recently been characterized by two qualities, braggadocio and petulance. Braggadocio -- empty boasting of American power, American virtue, American know-how -- has dominated our foreign relations now for some decades. Here at home -- within the family, so to speak -- our attitude to our culture expresses a superficially different spirit, the spirit of petulance. Never before, perhaps, has a culture been so fragmented into groups, each full of its own virtue, each annoyed and irritated at the others.



Anger and..

Every feel the need to break shit? Well.. I don't. I feel the need to allow the idjits in this world to slowly eradicate the lives they have and plunge into the eventual pathetic world they once criticized. This of course would be the wealthy migrants who are completely against allowing the rights of well...everyone. You're an immigrant you say? Go the hell back where you came from. Oh, where do I derive from you ask? 'Murrica. The place you be sittin' boi. Logic should snap into the mindsets of this foolish individuals but the moral decency which maintains the civilness of the common man has been circumvented by greed. Once a lie grasps onto the mindset of these folk, it tend to sprout into a big ugly fucker. The common man is a lazy fucker, these people say. They are drunkards who aren't even worthy of opening our doors to them and paying their wages. In this one will find the sons of frat boys. In this one finds closeted serial murders and rapists. Unchecked in their sadism the mind tells the body to push and drive and bite and chew any fucking thing it sees. Before long the body is lunching over the torso of a small child. Grunting in it's thrusts. It's pretty much down to a math. Greed is good. On with Reaganism. It all flows downhill.

Shit that is.

Enjoy some more tunage.